Your Sexuality Doesn’t Pause During Pregnancy
One of the biggest misconceptions I hear is that pregnancy somehow marks the end of your sexuality. Almost overnight, your body becomes something people feel entitled to comment on. There’s also endless conversations that shift towards scans, birth plans and nursery furniture, leaving little to no space for prioritising your pleasure in your growing body. But pregnancy doesn’t make you any less of a sexual person. You’re still human, and can experience desire and intimacy. You’re still allowed to masturbate. You’re still allowed to experience pleasure simply because it feels good. At the same time, it’s equally normal if sex feels further away than ever before. Pregnancy isn’t about becoming more or less sexual, it’s about recognising that your sexuality is changing alongside your body.
One of the most helpful things to understand is that desire, arousal and sexual satisfaction are three different experiences. Desire is wanting sex. Arousal is your body’s physical response, such as increased blood flow, lubrication or erections. Sexual satisfaction is much broader; it’s your overall sense of enjoyment, connection and fulfilment from a sexual experience, whether or not orgasm happens. During pregnancy, all three can shift independently. You might not think about sex as often, but once intimacy begins, find yourself becoming easily aroused. You might have stronger orgasms than ever before but feel less interested in initiating sex. Or you might discover that cuddling, massage or mutual pleasure feel more satisfying than penetrative sex. None of these experiences are unusual. Research consistently shows that sexual satisfaction changes throughout pregnancy, but those changes aren’t always about having less sex. More often, they’re about discovering that your body enjoys different things than it did before.
Why Pregnancy Changes Pleasure
Pregnancy is a whole-body experience, so it makes sense that your sexuality changes too. Hormones fluctuate dramatically. Blood flow to the pelvis increases. Your breasts become more sensitive. Your centre of gravity shifts. Your pelvic floor adapts. Energy levels rise and fall, emotions fluctuate, and your relationship with your changing body continues to evolve. Some of these changes can make pleasure feel more intense. Others can make intimacy feel uncomfortable, unfamiliar or simply low on your priority list. Rather than expecting your body to respond the way it always has, pregnancy invites you to become curious about what feels good now.
The First Trimester
For many people, the first trimester is less about pleasure and more about survival. Between nausea, overwhelming fatigue, breast tenderness and rapidly changing hormones, it’s completely understandable if your interest in sex takes a back seat. Your body is working incredibly hard, even if very little is visible from the outside. Many people also experience a significant emotional adjustment. The excitement of pregnancy can exist alongside anxiety, uncertainty and the reality that life is about to change. It’s no surprise that sexual satisfaction often dips during this stage. That doesn’t mean anything is wrong with your relationship or your body. If pleasure feels accessible, embrace it. If all you want is sleep and toast, that’s equally valid. This is often a time to lower expectations and focus on connection rather than sexual performance and pressure.
The Second Trimester
The second trimester is often nicknamed the ’honeymoon phase’ of pregnancy. As nausea begins to settle and energy returns, many notice their interest in sex gradually increasing again. Increased blood flow to the pelvis can make the genitals feel more sensitive, lubrication may increase, and orgasms can sometimes feel stronger or easier to achieve. I’ve heard for some, this is the trimester where they feel the most connected to their changing body. Of course, not everyone experiences this shift, and that’s also completely okay. Pregnancy isn’t a timeline you’re expected to follow and your experience is uniquely yours.
The Third Trimester
By the third trimester, pleasure often becomes less about intensity and more about comfort. As your bump grows, certain positions may become impractical, pelvic pressure can increase, and fatigue often makes another appearance. You may find that penetration feels less appealing, while external stimulation, massage, kissing or simply being physically close become the forms of intimacy your body gravitates towards. One of the most beautiful things about sexuality is its adaptability. When we stop defining sex as one specific act, we create space to discover entirely new ways of experiencing pleasure and connection.
Types of Toys to Explore During Pregnancy
External and Clitoral Toys
Throughout pregnancy, many people find themselves gravitating towards external stimulation. As your bump grows, penetration may become less comfortable, while increased blood flow to the pelvis can make the vulva and clitoris feel more sensitive than usual. External toys allow you to enjoy pleasure without putting pressure on your body, making them a wonderful option throughout all three trimesters.
If you’re looking for a direct sensation, the Womanizer Next is a great recommendation. Rather than using traditional vibration, it uses Pleasure Air Technology to stimulate the clitoris without direct contact. For many people whose bodies feel more sensitive during pregnancy, this softer style of stimulation can feel incredibly comfortable while still delivering intense pleasure.
If you enjoy external stimulation, the Dame Dip 2.0 offers this. Its soft, ergonomic design is created for direct, pinpoint stimulation, whether you’re exploring solo or with a partner. An additional bonus is that you can use it for both internal and external exploration and shallow penetration. It also has a longer handle, making it easier to maneuver with a bump.
For those wanting something softer again, the Tenga Iroha Yuki is a standout. Its plush silicone exterior feels inviting against sensitive skin, while its gentle, rumbly vibrations make it an excellent choice if stronger stimulation feels overwhelming during pregnancy.
Wand Massagers
Unlike smaller vibrators that deliver focused stimulation, wands provide broad, deep vibrations that can be moved across the vulva, inner thighs or wherever your body feels like it needs a little extra attention. Wands are great as their handles are longer, so as your body and baby grows, you’re still able to reach the clitoris easily.
The We-Vibe Wand 2 is a wonderful option with it's low rumbling vibrations. The We-Vibe Wand 2 is able to start at a very low intensity allowing your body to settle into the vibrations before turning up the intensity. Many people also enjoy using it as a body massager for tired hips, lower back and sore muscles after a long day. It does also link up to the We-Vibe app, which allows you more control over the intensity and patterns.
If you’re after something a little smaller, the Svakom Mini Emma Neo Wand delivers a similar style of stimulation in a more compact design that’s easy to manoeuvre around a growing bump. Interestingly, some people also find that the gentle vibration of a wand feels soothing on tender breasts as their bodies prepare for breastfeeding. While this isn’t a treatment for breast discomfort or engorgement, light vibration can feel comforting for some people during pregnancy and the early postpartum period.
Couples Toys
Pregnancy can also be an opportunity to rediscover intimacy together. As bodies change, the goal often shifts away from penetration and towards connection, curiosity and finding new ways to experience pleasure as a couple.
One of High Tide’s top toy sellers is the Inya Grinder because it’s incredibly versatile as your body changes throughout pregnancy. On your own, it can be used as a grinding toy, allowing you to rock your pelvis against its textured surface and discover what kinds of pressure and movement your body enjoys. For many people, particularly as pregnancy progresses, grinding can feel far more comfortable than direct penetration while still providing deeply satisfying clitoral stimulation. With a partner, the Inya Grinder can also be used during penetrative sex, adding extra clitoral stimulation without getting in the way. It can also be used on your partner’s leg, so you can grind on them too. It’s a lovely option for couples wanting to maintain intimacy while recognising that your body may be asking for something a little different than it did before pregnancy.
Another option for supporting penetrative sex during pregnancy is the Ohnut, particularly if deeper penetration has started to feel uncomfortable. Made from four soft, stackable rings worn at the base of a penis or penetrating toy, the Ohnut creates a flexible buffer that allows you to customise penetration depth while maintaining sensation. You can add or remove rings depending on what feels comfortable as your body changes, making it a thoughtful option for adapting penetrative play throughout pregnancy rather than pushing through discomfort.
Don’t Forget Lubricant
One of the simplest additions to your bedside table is a quality lubricant. Hormonal changes can affect natural lubrication throughout pregnancy, and adding lubricant can make both sex and toy play feel significantly more comfortable. I regularly recommend the Bed Intentions Water-Based Lubricant. Its gentle formula is designed to support vaginal health and help maintain a healthy pH balance, while remaining compatible with all silicone toys. Sometimes, a little extra comfort is all your body needs to make pleasure feel enjoyable again.
One Final Bump
Pregnancy is a time of enormous change, and it’s completely normal for your relationship with pleasure to evolve alongside it. Rather than judging your body for changing, try approaching it with compassion. What feels good today may be different to what felt good a month ago, and that’s okay, just something potentially worth exploring.
Interestingly, research has found that improving sexual satisfaction during pregnancy isn’t just about the physical aspects of sex. Interventions such as sexual education, mindfulness, communication and working with therapeutic professionals like sexologists have all been shown to positively influence sexual satisfaction during pregnancy. In other words, understanding your changing body and giving yourself permission to adapt can be just as powerful as finding the right toy. Above all else, your comfort should always come first. Listen to your body, take things at your own pace, and remember that pleasure doesn’t have to look the same as it did before pregnancy. If you have any worries, always consult with your chosen health care professional, such as an OB/GYN or midwife. If you’re curious about exploring toys during pregnancy, or simply want support navigating the changes happening in your body, we’re always here to help. At High Tide, we believe pleasure should evolve with you, and every stage of life deserves to feel connected, supported and enjoyable.
Words written by Jamie Bucirde, In-House Sexologist at High Tide
