The liberation and self-actualisation that comes with embracing a sex-positive mindset is a subject that is near and dear to our hearts at High Tide.
At its core, sex positivity is a philosophy that celebrates all aspects of human sexuality, free from judgment, shame, or discrimination as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult. Sexuality is diverse and can be a complex subject for many people. There's no one "right" way to experience or express it.
Some mistakenly believe the term “sex positivity” conveys a reckless and uninhibited carnal free-for-all. Sex positivity is about reflecting on your needs and desires, acting in alignment with your thoughts around pleasure while also respecting feelings, boundaries and bodily autonomy of others. It is sex positive to communicate compassionately and honestly. It's about embracing pleasure, intimacy, and connections in ways that feel nourishing and hot for yourself and your partner(s).
One of the most beautiful aspects of sex positivity is the foundational cornerstone of inclusivity. It's about acknowledging and affirming the beautiful variety of human experience. Being sex positive is about understanding that sexual interests, gender expression or orientation can also evolve or change along the lifespan. Sex positivity is about honoring diverse bodies, desires, and identities, and recognizing that everyone deserves pleasure and fulfillment, regardless of societal norms or expectations.
Embracing a sex-positive mindset isn't always easy, especially in a world that's rife with shame, stigma, and rampant misinformation about sex. From an early age, many of us are bombarded with messages that sex is dirty, sinful, or taboo. Stigma can take a toll on an individual’s self-esteem, sexual well-being and can stifle the pleasure experienced during partnered or solo play.
This is why it's important to challenge outdated attitudes and beliefs and cultivate a more affirming relationship with our sexuality. It starts with education – learning about anatomy, consent, pleasure, and risk aware or safer sex practices. It also entails deprogramming ourselves from harmful myths and stereotypes and replacing them with accurate information and compassion for our and other’s sexual journeys.
Most importantly sex positivity is about cultivating self-love and acceptance. It's about embracing your body, desires, and boundaries. Give yourself permission to explore, experiment, and grow, free from judgment or pressure. We would be remiss if we didn't acknowledge that embracing a sex-positive mindset can have ups and downs. There is no one singular path and there isn’t a “graduation date”. Your approach to sexuality, pleasure and intimacy can be a lifelong pursuit where you are continually learning new things about yourself and people you play with. There may be moments of doubt, discomfort, or vulnerability along the way, but that is often part of the process of self-discovery.
P.S. We encourage you to embrace your sexuality with gentle curiosity, compassion, and courage at a pace that feels right for you. Surround yourself with supportive and understanding communities, whether online or in person. Seek out informed resources and role models who inspire you. And above all, remember that you and those around you are all worthy of love, respect, pleasure, and fulfillment.
Written with intention by Athalie Paynting